Be the person your dog thinks you are....

We spend a lot of time worrying what other people think of us, on top of this we are more often than not our own worst critic.....I spend a lot of time talking to women about ‘that little voice in their head’ that voice that stops you dead in your tracks through fear, self doubt, self sabotage.

So I guess the first question is ‘who does your dog think you are?’ Until you know that you can’t aspire to be them, right?

To help us do this I am borrowing a quote from author George Eliot (who as we all know was a woman who had to use a man’s name in order to get ‘taken seriously’ - her words) and she said,

“We long for an affection altogether ignorant of our faults. Heaven has accorded this to us in the uncritical canine attachment.”

Wow!! UNCONDITIONAL LOVE! Your dog thinks you are perfect...so how do you live up to that?

Firstly, quit trying to be perfect - you already are! It’s OK to be human - we try things, we make mistakes, and as long as we keep trying and we grow from them, they are a wonderful thing. Your dog doesn’t care if you tried something and it didn’t work out...but they know when you are beating yourself up, so don’t do it! It’s unhelpful and it is self sabotage. We’ve all made mistakes - I’ve made some whoppers, but I have learnt not to let them define me..as long as I am learning from them it’s cool, Darby and Jess still love me so all is well.

Which leads me on to the next thing....my dogs love me and approve of me, no matter what. And that’s all I need. You don’t need to seek approval, affection or permission from anyone in order to go after your dreams. Approve of yourself, give yourself permission and go for it. Take a baby step if you have to, or a giant leap if you can, but start. Today. With what you have, from where you are. 1% of effort every day compounds to a whole heap of effort with 1, 3 and 6 months. Your dog will still love you and will still think you are perfect...it’s unconditional, remember?!

So what about the self-doubt, which often manifests as that little voice in your head? We question ourselves a lot and that is when ‘impostor syndrome’ kicks in. Impostor syndrome is the belief that you aren’t capable of being where you are or of reaching the next step.

Have you ever described an achievement as luck? Being in the right place at the right time? Being down to having a great boss, partner, team?

Have you ever thought “I got through that interview because they asked me the right questions so I came across more knowledgeable than I actually am”? Or something similar?

And how often have you thought of yourself that you a totally winging it – and sooner or later, you are going to be so dramatically found out to be the fraud that you believe yourself to be??

You are not on your own! Impostor Syndrome was recognised in the 1970’s and it has most damage on high achieving women. It is a syndrome which describes people who are unable to internalise how good they are, even when the evidence is right in front of them!

So instead of criticising yourself, try something new - look at yourself through your dog’s eyes. Because they know how awesome you are. They know you achieve greatness on your own merit. And they love you. Unconditionally.

And until you believe in yourself, you can’t really expect anyone else to....make sense?

I would love to help you get over impostor syndrome and other blockers which you might be putting in your own way. Contact me if you would like to know more.

Get in touch if you have comments or if you or your pooch would like to guest blog

In the meantime....be your brightest star xxxxxxxx