So I asked a 5 year old what she wanted to be when she grew up - here’s what she told me...
This month at Her Invitation, our focus is on how many women stunt their own career growth based on partners and / or children that don’t exist yet. Here’s an extreme example!
I asked a five year old girl what she wanted to be when she grew up - I ask a lot of children this question...it’s like an acid test for me...you can tell a lot from the responses like how big their imagination is, what they like at (pre) school etc. etc.
This little girl in particular told me this....when she grew up she wanted to be married.
Somebody Help Me! It was 2016 BTW.
So I look around - I happen to be very fond of this little girl and her family but they have made choices. Mum is stay at home, Dad is absent at work a lot of the time. So what does my 5 year old see as a role model? Whatever is on TV (have you analysed Peppa Pig by the way, stay at home mum, Daddy out at work and it gets worse from there) and whatever she sees at home.
So her imagination is the sum total of what is around her. The values she has already picked up as a 5 year old have her married to a provider while she stays home with the family.
I talk a lot about unconscious bias - it is not a bad thing to have, we all have it. It comes from fight or flight histories - when we used to have to make split second decisions about whether we like some-one or not. We automatically like people who are like us - who look like us, sound like us, think like us...and it largely comes from values we are taught as very young children - and we need to be aware of it when it rears it's head.
Because the values in this case are already plotting her life - she is planning a future around a husband and children at FIVE YEARS OLD!!!!
I will state again being a stay at home mum is a choice that families make - and there is nothing wrong with that at all - it is a choice that is made at the appropriate time. It should not, however, be a 5 year old girl's ambition in 2016.
I want much, much more for the women of our future - I want them to experience financial independence, even when they are married. I want them to experience the freedom of living life and seeing the world and all it has to offer with marriage as an added bonus if you meet the right person.
I want her choices to be her choices because she is in an equal relationship where finances are a 50/50 responsibility and the home and family are a 50/50 split because her husband or partner gets that there is no equality in the workplace until there is equality at home.
At Her Invitation we talk a lot about how we are raising not only our little girls but also our little boys - what are we teaching them about life at 5 years old and younger? It is vital we raise our game as role models for the future generations - they can’t be what they can’t see!
Next time you meet a 5 year old, or any age child, ask them the question and see what you can make of their responses. I would love to hear back from you!
Women stunting their own career growth based on partners and / or children that don’t exist yet is just one of the 15 ways we talk about how women can potentially hold themselves back. You can meet Gina and learn more from her about this and MANY other issues that women face by attending her next event in Worcestershire - here is the link!
Gina is part of Lynette’s Core Team at HI, acting as a Facilitator, Blog Editor and Mentor she is also Business Strategist and a Commercial Mediator in other walks of life.
Through her organisation, Sirius Business, Gina mentors and coaches women who work in the corporate world, as she has done for over 14 years so she understands first hand many of the issues these women face.
Gina is a renowned speaker all over the UK; she lives on the borders of West Midlands and Worcestershire with her husband Dave and their two Labradors, Darby and Jess.
