Who is supporting you whilst you are supporting them??
Do you ever stop and think about that? You work hard all day, you help your colleagues out, do an extra report for your boss, help out with a presentation that has to go to the board and then stay late to finish your own stuff?
Or maybe you are always the one organising the meetings, making the coffee for people as they arrive, taking the notes, organising the lunch and clearing up at the end?
This was exactly the position one of my recent delegates found herself in and it had happened by stealth - just a little bit here, and could your team take on this task there and before she realised, everyone else is down the pub on a Friday at the stroke of 5 and she is still sitting in the office till 7 finishing up what needed to be done!
We talked about it as a group and all the classic reasons for why she was doing all this stuff came flooding out:
It’s only a one-off
I know if I do it myself it will be a job well done
I’ll be rewarded later down the line
There isn’t anyone else to do it
I want to be seen as helpful
It’s a tough balance - you want to be seen as helpful, organised and caring - we talked last month about ‘liking to be liked’ and this is definitely connected to that emotion...
However, when it is every week, and you start to feel resentful that you are not in the pub, you are frazzled from over burdening yourself and your home life starts to go downhill because your three legged balance is off-kilter (yes I said three legged balance - it’s a whole other blog!) then reward from your boss or anywhere else is not going to be forthcoming.
And here’s why.
What you are displaying is that you are not as important as those people around you - that their needs come first. You are effectively teaching those around you that they can rely on you to pick up the pieces, that you won’t let them drop.
One-offs become regular things and people don’t notice regular things - they just see you displaying excellent administrative support and no leadership qualities such as delegation.
I find there is little merit in keeping your head down and working so hard for those around you whilst they go off to the networking event, the social event and talk about what a great job they have been doing.
What we worked through with this delegate was that other teams could and should take on many of the things that were keeping her at her desk for so long, she didn’t have to do everything for everyone else but could delegate to her team and mentor their progress to make sure things were done to her high standards.
And if she wants to be seen for promotion - she has to be visible - and that is not at her desk, that is at the networking and social events - in this case in the pub with the rest of the workforce on a Friday night! Then she is communicating to the world and to those in a position to promote her that she is in control, is organised, is bringing on team members by delegating additional duties and making sure the appropriate person or team in the organisation is carrying out appropriate tasks.....next in line for that promotion with leadership skills like that!
Putting yourself in a supporting role is just one of the 15 ways we talk about how women can potentially hold themselves back. You can meet Gina and learn more from her about this and MANY other issues that women face by attending one of her events in LONDON or WORCESTERSHIRE or you can attend workshops in other parts of the country - click here.
Gina is part of Lynette’s Core Team at HI, acting as a Facilitator, Blog Editor and Mentor as well as a Business Strategist in other walks of life.
Through her organisation, Sirius Business, she mentors and coaches women who work in the corporate world, as she has done for over 14 years so she understands first hand many of the issues these women face.
Gina is a renowned speaker all over the UK; she lives on the borders of West Midlands and Worcestershire with her husband Dave and their two Labradors, Darby and Jess.
