Parental Leave law promotes equality - but what about our unconscious bias?

On 1st December 2014, Shared Parental Leave replaced the Additional Paternity Leave entitlement. What does that mean?

It means that every eligible mother, father, partner and adopters can choose how to share time off work after their child is born or placed for adoption. And this includes returning to work for some of the time, then switching, then switching back again - so for example, Dad might go back to work at first, then Mum might go back to work while Dad stays at home for a few months and then Mum takes the remaining amount of leave while Dad goes back to work.

That doesn’t mean the traditional arrangement of Mum taking all the Parental Leave is not allowed - EQUALLY, Dad can also choose to take all the Parental Leave.

GREAT!!! So we’re all equal, right?? Everyone has a choice.

If this legislation happened nearly 3 years ago - then how many stay-at-home Dads do we see? When we drop our kids at school, how many Dads do we see in the playground?

The kiddy club at our local shopping centre is called Mummy Mornings (very attractive to stay at home Dad’s); how many men’s toilet blocks have nappy changing units??....my point is legality might be caught up with the fact that in some circumstances it might be better for a family unit for Dad to stay at home whilst Mum goes back to work, but as a society, have we caught up with that??

Well, no we haven’t and this largely comes down to social expectations of what we as a society expect our men folk to do and what we expect our women to do.

We expect our children to be looked after by the mother, we talk about ‘the bond’ children have with their mother (to the point as if the bond with a father is obsolete).

We expect our men to be the provider, to go out to work and bring home the bacon whilst a mother is a home maker, and damagingly, men are perceived to be weaker in the workplace if they take a career break for children...so WHAT IS MY POINT??

Well it’s back to my favourite topic of Unconscious Bias - our value system of what works for us and what doesn’t, what upsets our emotional apple cart - and still in 2017 with all the laws and rights on the side of equality, stay at home dads somehow rub a lot of us up the wrong way. People say to me that it just doesn’t feel right (are they REAL men?!?!?)

So we have a responsibility - at HI we talk about our role as generation changers....we have a responsibility now to teach our young people that it is ok for women to be career focussed AND have children, it is OK for Daddy to be stay at home parent, in fact, you wouldn’t even blink at it!

We will never have gender equality in the workplace until we have equality in the home. FACT. If a women is still expected to pick up all the domestic duties, she cannot possibly be giving 100% at work as well. She will burn out.

Our young people hear everything we say and they see everything we do - so now is the time to break the pattern, to be good role models, to buck trends and to make the most of that legislation that is in place.

So I urge all of us to think about our actions around young people, as we often say at Her Invitation let your little boys play with dolls, after all you never know he may grow up to be............................. a father.

Women assuming they will be the main carer at home, whilst being provided for yet is just one of the 15 ways we talk about how women can potentially hold themselves back. You can meet Gina and learn more from her about this and MANY other issues that women face by attending her next event in Worcestershire or you can attend workshops in other parts of the country - click here.

Gina is part of Lynette’s Core Team at HI, acting as a Facilitator, Blog Editor and Mentor she is also Business Strategist and a Commercial Mediator in other walks of life.

Through her organisation, Sirius Business, Gina mentors and coaches women who work in the corporate world, as she has done for over 14 years so she understands first hand many of the issues these women face.

Gina is a renowned speaker all over the UK; she lives on the borders of West Midlands and Worcestershire with her husband Dave and their two Labradors, Darby and Jess.