Like to be liked?

This month at Her Invitation, we are talking about the fact that as women, in general, we feel the need to be liked......it’s just one of the 15 ways we discuss on our Her Invitation workshops how women will sometimes hold themselves back - especially in the workplace.

Now, love her or hate her, Margaret Thatcher said a lot of wise things (and sometimes things that edge towards discrimination towards men, in my humble opinion)... but here is one of her all time classic quotes which sums up exactly why feeling the need to be liked can hold you back.....

“If you set out to be liked, you would be prepared to compromise on anything at any time, and you would achieve nothing”

See worrying about what other people think of you and what you are doing can turn you into a bit of a people-pleaser...you will inadvertently shrink your capability and actions to make sure you aren’t shocking anyone or sending people out of their own comfort zones.

You will ask yourself questions like ‘what will they think (of me)’ ‘will they still like me’ ‘will they think I’m showing off’ ‘they may not agree with me’

So then our natural brilliance becomes a little bit dull because we are not coming from an authentic place but instead moulding what we do and say in order to please others....sounding familiar??

As Margaret Thatcher’s quote implies, when organisations are looking for future leaders, they are not really looking for personalities who are ‘prepared to compromise on anything’ because the reality is those people ‘achieve nothing’ (or significantly less than those who are prepared to hold their line).

As women we need to really think about signals we are sending out to the world and to our colleagues and management. If you are looking for advancement (or even just a bit more respect in the conference room) be prepared to take a stand. Have an opinion and stay true to it. Speak from the heart and don’t worry if people don’t agree with you - you can have differing opinions about things without relationships (professional or personal) breaking down.

The messages you are then sending out to the world is that your opinion is as valid as anyone else’s; you are not easily manipulated; you are prepared to take a stand that you believe in. You are a leader - not an errand runner and you will not easily be taken for granted.

In other words, you are a strong and powerful individual.

If this is resonating with you, why not book a place at one of our workshops. We discuss this and 14 other ways women are potentially holding themselves back.

We help you to unlock the tools and techniques to overcome some of these behaviours as well as exploring some of the messages the media are feeding to both women and men, and how damaging they are to true equality. You can book your place here.